Most people assume that the end will come with great violence. Explosions, screaming, dramatic deaths. But they are wrong. It will end quietly, without a sound, in the dead of night. Nobody will die, they will just simply cease to exist.
I am God, and if you were religious, you might say ‘Oh. Haha. You’re wrong Jews!’, but No. Nobody is wrong, there is no religion. And I am not the supreme being. I am at what you might call the bottom of the food chain, the underdog, the benchwarmer. Earth is such a small part in the grand scheme of things, that I am often laughed at for being it’s god.
You see, Earth is not the only planet that houses living things. It is the smallest, and stupidest as well. Humans are, well, there is no nice way to put this. Stupid idiots. Excuse my French, but the fact still remains.
Humans fight and kill each other, and very soon, they would end themselves. And if that happened, I would be fired. I am, in a way, doing you all a favor.
Alright, I guess I have some explaining to do. This must be coming a shock to you all. Hey, it would be to me too. But anyway, back to business. The reason I am ending you idiots is to save myself from having to work as an angel for the rest of my painfully long life. The pay is embarrassing, and the job stinks.
You might say that I am selfish. You would be right. I am very selfish. But so are you humans. You destroy your world as if you could just build another one. You can’t, by the way. Only me and my colleagues can do that (Sorry, my colleagues and I). And the real Supreme Being, but he hasn't gotten out of bed since 12,000 B.C.E. on your time.
So, I think that we have established that I am in the right, and that you are in the wrongest wrong there has ever been since Hitler. Sorry for saying his name.
Anyway, there is more of a backstory to all of this that I should probably explain. OK, here it goes.
Long, long ago, before there were planets, solar systems, even a universe, there was a conscience. It was the only conscience, and it was lonely. So it created the universe. Then, still being lonely, it created solar systems and planets and eventually living beings. But, it went too far, and made too many. way too many for it to handle at once. So, it created my colleagues and me to help manage everything. Some were assigned solar systems, and then they hired guys like me to manage the individual planets.
The Milky Way was the last solar system made, and it was made as a gift to the Supreme Being for all he had done for us. It was supposed to be grand. I was a new fish then, and eager to achieve and impress. The Supreme Being was thrilled, and gave us all bonuses. At first, it was grand. The dinosaurs were supposed to be the main life form, forever.
But then the Supreme Being’s best friend and coworker got it into his head that he deserved the solar system, not the Supreme Being -even though without the Supreme Being he wouldn’t even be there. Anyway, he sent the asteroid on its way to obliterate Earth. He didn’t make it big enough.
So, BOOM! No more dino’s. Almost 98% of life was obliterated. But then things started to come back. Delmar was furious, and he destroyed eighteen of his own planets in his wrath.
The Supreme Being, on the other hand, was devastated, and climbed into bed and hasn’t gotten out in quite a long time.
So, I hope you understand why I must end you. It would be a crime if I didn’t really. But hey, I’ll give you a chance. I’ll make a genius who will find an alternative fuel source that’s unlimited, and if you take him seriously and listen to him, then I’ll let you be idiots a little while longer.